A lot of people make an effort to get clean and sober for the wrong reasons. They are doing it for a family member or a loved one. To have success, the addict needs to be committed and want to do it for themselves. In today’s episode, Tom talks to Dakota. Dakota is someone who Tom has known for the past year. They talk about how he ended up addicted and how he ended up in South Florida.
Dakota openly shares his story and how he got introduced to weed when he was 10. It didn’t take long before he moved on to other things and ended up with a full blown problem. Tom and Dakota talk about some of the parallels of addicts and having problems with their home life. Dakota also shares his unsuccessful attempts to get sober and how things didn’t click until he was all in and truly wanted to work the steps.
[03:56] Dakota was born in Maine and moved to Phoenix when he was 4. His father was an alcoholic. His mom worked all the time.
[04:59] He tried weed when he was 10 and instantly fell in love with it. Then he began drinking. He then moved on to other drugs.
[06:35] The drugs gave him a feeling of acceptance. His relationship with his dad affected his self-esteem. He was always seeking validation.
[10:17] Being a drug dealer made Dakota feel needed.
[11:16] The addictive mentality puts us in positions that we wouldn’t normally be in.
[12:22] Things escalated and Dakota began fighting and ended up in one alternative school after another. Things went downhill when he tried Oxy.
[14:34] He got clean for about four months for a girl he was dating. He then began doing Oxy behind her back. They broke up after a year.
[16:02] Dakota was sick and on withdrawals and tried heroin. He was just going to do it one time. The Oxy didn’t compare to the heroin.
[17:34] After a year, he decided to go to rehab. He just went to detox and then immediately relapsed.
[19:18] He then overdosed and was really an addict. He lost friends, lived on the street, and went in and out of programs.
[22:04] After another overdose, someone in rehab told him about rehab in South Florida. He got 50 days clean and then started drinking again.
[24:43] After using and going in and out of detox or rehab, he finally decided to call Rock Recovery.
[25:31] He had a moment of clarity and putting the needle in his arm filled him with shame and made him feel miserable.
[27:26] You can’t just get clean for other people. You have to want it for yourself.
[28:04] Dakota couldn’t change until he put in the actual work.
[30:03] Addicts tend to play the victim. Everyone is out to get them.
[34:22] Parents have to show tough love before their addicted child gets a wake up call. You can’t keep enabling your loved ones.
[36:26] Dakota overdosed and almost died. Nick found him passed out.
[37:26] He felt like the people at Rock really cared. Dakota got a sponsor through some help from Ben, and he just hit the ground running.
[38:17] Dakota was completely against doing the steps, but when he actually did them it was exactly what he needed.
[39:30] Sponsorship is something that you should try before you knock it.
[41:31] It’s not about the amount of time that you have been clean and sober.
[42:34] Dakota talks about the importance of surrounding himself with people doing what he does. Community and people to connect with are important.
[46:02] Dakota has been clean for 75 quality days.
[47:10] He has had a huge impact on the sober community. It’s important to consider yourself a student and learn everyday.
[49:02] You need to have some type of balance when you go through the program. Go to meetings, but have fun and live life too.
Links and Resources:
Real Recovery Talk on YouTube