Drug and alcohol addiction can have long-lasting impacts, not just on the person struggling but also on their family members. Witnessing a loved one struggle with a substance use disorder (SUD) can be mentally and physically draining, leading to emotional wounds, estrangement, and broken trust.

Rebuilding relationships with family members and close friends after addiction is a complex journey, requiring forgiveness, therapy, and healthy boundaries.

The Impact of Substance Use Disorders (SUDs) on Relationships

Addiction can cause severe emotional, psychological, and physical damage to those closest to the person with the substance use disorder (SUD). Relationships with family members, friends, and romantic partners often experience an immense amount of strain when a loved one is battling addiction.

A parent with a drug or alcohol use disorder may find it challenging to meet the physical and emotional needs of their children. Children of addicted parents may feel neglected, experiencing deep insecurities, fear, confusion, and even effects on their development.

Emotional Toll of Addiction on Loved Ones

Emotionally, family members may experience feelings of fear, worry, helplessness, and anger when it comes to addiction. Loved ones of someone with an addiction may feel as though they are constantly being lied to or having to walk on eggshells when around them.

Not knowing how to help a loved one struggling with substance abuse or what to expect from their behaviors can take an emotional toll on family members. This emotional toll of addiction can escalate into chronic anxiety, stress, and even depression.

Family members may also experience betrayal by the behaviors associated with drug and alcohol addiction. These behaviors might include lying, stealing, making false promises, and breaking those promises.

A person with a substance use disorder (SUD) often prioritizes their addiction over their relationships, leading to feelings of rejection and abandonment. These emotional wounds can cut deep and push the person with addiction further away from loved ones, making it difficult for these connections to be rebuilt.

The Breakdown of Trust

One of the most significant impacts of drug and alcohol addiction on family relationships is the betrayal of trust. Substance abuse often leads people to engage in risky and deceitful behaviors, whether it's hiding their drug or alcohol use or lying about where they are.

People with substance use disorder (SUD) often make false promises about stopping their substance use or going to rehab for their addiction. This can break a significant amount of trust between family members and their loved ones.

This loss of trust can create a cycle of doubt and suspicion for family members, even after they receive treatment. Rebuilding trust with a loved one in addiction recovery can take months or even years. For someone in active recovery looking to restore their family's confidence in them, it requires transparency, honesty, and a commitment to sobriety.

Codependency and Enabling Behaviors

Another consequence of substance abuse in relationships is the development of enabling behaviors and codependency. Codependent relationships in addiction can be very detrimental to both loved ones and the addicted individual. Codependency occurs when a family member or friend becomes overly involved in their addicted loved one's life, risking their health and well-being.

Codependent family members may prioritize their addicted loved ones' needs over their own, sacrificing their emotional, mental, and even physical health to do so. On the other hand, enabling behaviors involve actions that unintentionally encourage their alcohol or drug addiction.

Enabling might include providing financial support for the person with an addiction, making excuses for their behaviors, or minimizing the consequences of their addiction. The acts of enabling may come out of a place of love. However, it perpetuates the cycle of substance abuse, making it more difficult for a loved one to recover.

How to Rebuild Family Relationships in Addiction Recovery

Rebuilding relationships with family members in recovery, whether a spouse, children, siblings, or parents, requires effort on both ends. Healing doesn't happen overnight, nor does it happen without both individuals putting in the work. With family therapy, open communication, setting healthy boundaries, and individual counseling, you can work towards mending your relationships in substance abuse recovery.

Family Therapy and Counseling

Family therapy and couples counseling can all be valuable tools in restoring relationships after addiction. Drug and alcohol addiction can leave deep and long-lasting wounds on the individual and their loved ones, making professional support an essential aspect of healing.

Family counseling in addiction recovery provides a safe space for loved ones to express their emotions and hurt while learning healthy communication and coping techniques.

Setting Healthy Boundaries

Healthy boundaries are essential for any family or friendship dynamic, especially after addiction. Family members, spouses, and children need to set firm boundaries with a loved one after addiction to preserve their emotional and physical well-being.

Maintaining healthy boundaries allows both individuals to make progress in their healing journey. You can establish trust and mutual respect with your recovering loved one by creating boundaries, such as rules around living arrangements or communication styles.

Boundaries also help prevent codependent and enabling behaviors from both the family member and the addicted individual. Standing firm on these allows both parties to feel respected and secure in their relationship as you rebuild a solid foundation for your relationship.

Individual Counseling

Individual therapy for families of addicted loved ones provides them with a safe space to be completely open and vulnerable about their struggles and emotions. While family counseling after addiction is constructive, individual therapy allows family members to voice specific concerns and experiences that they may not feel comfortable doing in a group setting.

Family Support Groups

Al-Anon and Nar-Anon are support groups for those who have a loved one actively battling addiction or in recovery. These groups can provide a sense of community and guidance for family members with an addicted loved one.

Family members, friends, spouses, and children can share their experiences and receive support from others who understand what they're going through. Attending Nar-Anon or Al-Anon can help loved ones learn how to navigate and cope with the impact of addiction on relationships.

Real Recovery Talk provides one-on-one coaching sessions for those in recovery from addiction. If you or a loved one want to join a supportive, sober community, join ours today! The Real Recovery Talk Support Group offers a sense of community and encouragement for those in addiction recovery and their family members.

References:

• Social Work in Public Health, 2013. The Impact of Substance Use Disorders on Families and Children: From Theory to Practice.
• PsychCentral, 2022. Repairing Relationships After Substance Use Disorder.
• Substance Abuse Research and Treatment, 2019. How Social Relationships Influence Substance Use Disorder Recovery: A Collaborative Narrative Study.