67 - How to Talk to Your Kids About Addiction?
Talking to your kids about addiction can be difficult. At what age should you start? How open should you be? In this episode, we discuss all aspects of talking to your kids and loved ones about addiction. Every person and situation can be different, but we want to equip you with answers to discover what’s right for your family without making mistakes that can end up backfiring.
We also talk about the three Cs of control, cure, and cause. These are things that people need to do for themselves. You can support them in a helpful way, but you can’t do it for them or make it happen. Tom and Ben have an honest discussion of what they have seen in a clinical setting and how they are going to approach these issues with their own kids.
Show Notes:
- [02:45] Ben's son is 9 years old and he is at the point where he might have to make a personal decision about when to talk to him about the subject.
- [03:29] The plan that Ben is going to take is driven by the things he's already seen.
- [03:49] The three Cs. You can't control it, you can't cure it, and you didn’t cause it.
- [04:11] You can't control it. The cause and control could come out of anywhere. No matter how hard you try, people are going to do what they are going to do.
- [06:29] As parents, we will want to control it. This can lead to manipulation and lies. You can't control your child's every action.
- [08:03] Ben wants to assist his son in making an educated decision.
- [09:06] Sheltering kids from the outside world can have an affect where kids feel like they are missing out.
- [13:09] Taboo and scare tactics don't work well.
- [15:14] You might have a good time, but it will come with consequences.
- [17:05] You can't cure your child's addiction for them.
- [17:24] Helicopter parents won't let their loved ones figure it out for themselves.
- [18:34] Let the professionals and the people with the experience handle the situation.
- [20:05] Young adults who have lived with very controlling parents end up acting out in ways that often times lead to drugs and alcohol.
- [20:55] When your loved one is in recovery, take a back seat and let the process play out with the professionals.
- [22:00] Sometimes parents have her over everything and want to know every decision that's been made. The client may not want their parents to know everything.
- [23:07] Even if the parent is a professional, they should let the counselors and the program work without emotional involvement.
- [24:15] You don't have to bring your child to every 12-step meeting you go to.
- [25:34]You didn't cause it. Addiction is addiction and it happens. You can't cure it, you can't control it, and you didn't cause it.
- [26:14] Addicts will make you feel like you caused their addiction, so that they can manipulate you.
- [26:44] They brought it on themselves, and they can get through it themselves.
- [27:07] Ben will give his son some exposure and answer questions honestly.
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